Date Night: Failures

February 2, 2020
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Let’s talk about life. I mean real life. Not the pretty picture I can paint you about being in a relationship, falling in love and having a wedding.

This is the true picture of being married.

The last 2 months have been some of the most challenging times of my life. From high turn over at my day-job to my grandmother dying, to getting a puppy and then deciding to buy a house, all while continuing to grow my engagement photography business. To say that a lot has happened in the last 8 weeks would be an understatement.

You know what hasn’t really happened in the last 8-weeks? Date night.

Yup, our dedicated once a week date night has gone straight out the window along with my sanity. Don’t get me wrong. I would LOVE a date night. I would love for it to be just me and my husband and no distractions, but that is not what life handed us in this season.

With a new house on the horizon, our budget has become super tight. So only free dates are really an option for a while. But when you add in the dedicated time we have to give to the new puppy (it really is like having a kid) the strategy for date night has changed completely.

I don’t tell you all of this for your pity. I tell you this for reality.

We can have the goal of making our marriage or a weekly date night a priority but the reality is that life happens and sometimes, for a short season, it’s not at the very top. What might be at the very top is self-care so that you don’t drive off all of your loved ones. (Yes, I am speaking from experience.)

This season might be the season where you need to focus on taking care of you.

The exhaustion of work, family matters, loan documents, moving organization, building a photography business and cleaning up pee and poop all over the house while listening to squeak toys have gotten to me. And right now, I am my number one priority. Getting back to a baseline. Getting healthy. Feeling like my old self. That is the goal.

As I slowly start to come back to myself. Those weekly date nights are becoming a craving and I’m starting to have the space to make them a priority again.

Wherever you are in your life, in your relationship, this season might not be YOUR season as a couple. This season might be the season where you need to focus on taking care of you. Not because you are full of yourself, but because without coming from a healthy place, we will never be able to lead healthy relationships.

Have date nights when you can. Cherish them. And know that if you hit a season where you can’t make it happen for a few weeks, you will survive. Your relationship will survive. In fact, your relationship might be stronger for it. As long as you are taking care of yourself.