Enneagram Type 2: The Helper

March 12, 2020
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Basic Fear: Unloved
Basic Desire: Feel love
Healthy: Enneagram 4 (take back their power and embrace creativity)
Unhealthy: Enneagram 8 (overly involved and need to be in control)

Ah, the Enneagram two. This person is one you know well. The mama bear as I like to call them. They take pride in people needing them; you could say that they need to be needed. This person is gracious, generous and always looking to give themselves to others. The Helper has a fear of rejection and therefore makes themselves indispensable in order to not be rejected.

They are the first type in the heart triad and they pull away from their heart. They take great pride in being needed and struggle with recognizing their own needs. Often they’ll repress their feelings in order to better be loved by those around them. I.e. they are often people pleasers.

You’ll see twos in your life as nurses, mothers, and  counselors, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be the CEO or be great leaders, some of the best business owners I know are a two (my sister-in-law for one!)

When you are in a relationship with a two it’s important to remember:

  • They want to be the center of your life. They need your love and affection and will go out of their way to support you.
  • They’re vulnerable to rejection. Past rejections in relationships could have caused some baggage and it’s important that you work with them to let them know that you aren’t going anywhere.
  • They’ll need your help with being authentic and experiencing real intimacy. Because they put the needs of others first, it can be hard for them to stay in touch with their own feelings.
  • Know that anger (hanger included) is usually from unmet needs. Find out what their needs are and see how you can help meet them.

The Helper is a special type of person. Their love for others and the world is inspirational and so needed. They are do an amazing job taking care of those around them and helping their friends and family feel loved and cared for. It’s our job to make sure that they have the space to understand their own needs/feelings and more importantly to take the time to love on them also.