Enneagram Type 4: The Romantic
Basic Fear: Not Signifiant
Basic Desire: To be themselves
Healthy: Enneagram 1 (they find healthy structure)
Unhealthy: Enneagram 2 (have toxic emotions to draw attention)
The Romantic is a type that brings true beauty and art into this world. Often the artist, they want to be the most unique person in the room. (This is my wing and I have to say that there is a lot of this that applies to me!)
The 4 feels that they are missing something that others have and are on a mission to find it. They can often feel like an outsider and have low self-esteem. They long for the missing piece of them that they believe will bring happiness and make them feel whole. Because of this, they are often emotionally sensitive. This is why some of the greatest artist of our time were fours. (Think Billie Holiday, Paul Simon, Angelina Jolie, Frida Kahlo, Anne Frank, Rumi and Johnny Depp.)
A four deeply desires to be known and appreciated for their depth. Because they are very deep. They will overshare their pain or hold it in altogether. But what makes them truly amazing is their ability to empathize with those who suffer and their ability to relate to the outcasts. It’s these very traits that give them the ability to connect through their art.
If you’re in a relationship with a four it important to remember:
- They need depth and want to take you into deep places. Be ready.
- They love the pursuit of happiness, not necessarily happiness.
- They can fall into depression for longer periods at a time and feel that this is necessary for their art. It’s not your job to bring them out but you can remind them that they too deserve happiness.
- They live in the past and future. They’ll be fun to dream with and walk down memory lane but can have a hard time being in the hear and now.
- They are very sensitive to your emotional state
The Romantic will bring great beauty into our world as long as they can get out of their own darkness long enough to create it. As a part of the heart triad, they fall into their feelings more than anyone else and can become consumed by them. But when they are in a healthy place, able to see the light around them, they bring empathy and understanding like no other type can.