In the book, Jesus Feminist, Sarah Bessey describes the number one rule when it comes to child birth–to lean into the pain. For those who try to avoid the pain, tensing up and holding back, they actually find themselves in more pain. But when you release into, accept it, and move through it, you find yourself on the other side. Having survived what you thought just might kill you.
Oh, how this analogy can take us places.
I wrestle on a daily basis with building a new business, changing career paths, and going after what I’ve always dreamt of but with so much fear that I’ll fail along the way.
I suffer through what decisions to make and how will this affect not only me, but my family as well. I suffer through not feeling good enough, questioning my talents as an artist, as a business owner, as a friend, spouse, guide. Basically you could just put a big question mark over my head and call it a day, I’m questioning everything.
“Here is the funny thing I learned when I began to disentangle from my Evangelical Hero Complex: I’m pretty sure that there aren’t actually any big things for [The Divine]. | There are only small things being done over and over with great love, as Mother Teresa said. With great faith. With great obedience. With great joy or suffering or wrestling or forgiving on a daily basis, usually without appreciative applause or a slick video production summary. And grace covers all of it, and [The Divine] makes something beautiful. One stone at a time.”
And that’s the secret sauce right there. To just move forward doing one small thing each day. To take a step towards where you want to go. To find grace. To accept the pain, lean into it, maybe (if you’re really crazy) you’ll even call it a friend, knowing that it’s making you stronger and forming you into the person you’ve always wanted to be.
This life comes with suffering. There is no way around that. But we can choose how we live with that suffering. Do we embracer her as a guide or as a monster that we try to run from? While it seems counterintuitive, embracing her might just be the less painful road to take.
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